Thrive
Cape Town-based artist Daniel Popper creates monumental public art installations of fantastical figures. His latest work Thrive will be a permanent public installation at Society Las Olas, a residential building in Fort Lauderdale, Florida.
racism is still racism when it's your faves, it's still racism if it's not meant maliciously, it's still racism if they didn't know.
this meme made me realise that other people apparently know how to show empathy without personal anecdotes
… how…. please teach me
I’m pretty sure none of us will get answers but please…if someone knows the secrets to showing empathy without personal anecdotes please speak up. We need answers
(Me (adhd + autism) can show empathy, but not sympathy. For me, it’s like I do the exact same thing, but as well as showing empathy through anecdotes I show sympathy through empathy).
@decabus @some-teeth-in-a-trench-coat @messynogenderpotato
I have somethin I guess? I’ve been the Support Friend for most of my life so I managed to get it down to a formula. TW: dog death
1. Ask Questions
This is mainly to keep them talking, that way a) they feel like they have a confidante in you, and b) the pressure is less on you to Say Things. In fact it shouldn’t be about you Saying Things at all, it should be you figuring out where they’re at and trying to understand.
E.g. “My dog died, I miss him.” Ask questions, and when they start talking, let them talk. “What was his name?” “How and when did he die?” “Tell me about him.” “What was he like?” “What’s your favourite memory of him?” “When did you first meet him?” “Did you teach him any tricks?” Again the point is to keep them talking, the questions are just to get them on a roll. If you’re worrying about what to say next, listen to what they’re saying and ask details of what they’re currently talking about, or mentally prepare your next question.
2. Listen
Let them talk. The more you listen to them talk, the more they feel like it’s okay to talk to you. If they dwindle off, ask them something else to get them talking again. Upset people usually have a lot to say.
Every now and again you can throw in little sentences like “Wow, what a bitch!” “Aw, so sad.” “What the fuck? Why?” just to prove you’re still listening and following, and haven’t wandered off into space.
3. When they’re done, give it back to them
It’s a technique called mirroring. Sum up whatever you heard in short form - if they’ve talked for half an hour about the little details of their deceased pet, say something like “It sounds like he was a very good boy/sounds like he meant a lot to you/sounds like you will miss him.” It’s been known to make people dissolve into a sobbing mess, because this is the part where you prove you’ve done your homework, you listened, you care, you get it.
4. If you really want to offer a solution, ask first. You can just skip this step altogether tbh.
Only when someone has finished talking about whatever is upsetting them, ask if you can help. “Can I offer some advice?” Now is the time for SHORT anecdotes. Short. It’s not about you sharing your story, it’s about them getting advice. Remember they don’t have to take your advice, again it’s about them and their emotions, and they know themselves best. “When my dog died, I did this. Would that help?” “I read somewhere about doing this. Maybe try that and see how it goes?”
Hope this helps y’all. The TL;DR of all this is basically listen, and prove you’re listening.
Thank you!!!
That explanation really is so good!
I would throw in a caveat for number 4 and suggest that instead of saying “can I offer some advice” ask “are you looking for advice or would you prefer just to vent?” There’s a social expectation that when someone offers you advice it’s rude to say no, and many people will say yes even when they don’t want advice and resent you for giving it. To avoid this potential social faux pas, instead offer both options (advice or just a listening ear) as equally valid and let them chose. A paired choice will not feel rude for them to select from if they really did just want to vent/cry on your shoulder.
I doubt this will get much traction on here, but Puerto Rico’s governor has just passed Código Civil (Civil Code) that has loopholes regarding women’s and LGBT+ rights. This code was passed despite activists’ call for a veto, and was intentionally speedily passed so that public hearings would not take place
In a nutshell, women’s bodily autonomy has the potential to be restricted which can take away their right to abortions, and the discrimination bans against the LGBT+ community are able to be overridden.
5 trans people have died violently in Puerto Rico since the beginning of 2020.
I ask my followers and mutuals to please reblog. There is so much going on in America today and this is one thing to add. There are protests for #BlackLivesMatter in Puerto Rico and a significant black community there. As an Afro Latina and a member of the LGBT community, I ask you to spread this and help.
Here is additional information!!
Another thing is, Governer Garced wasn’t even elected by the people of Puerto Rico. She was the Secretary of Justice, and was put in office after Governer Rosselló resigned.
She has claimed that with the passing of this new civil code, that no rights were taken away.
In a sense, that’s correct. No rights were taken away *explicitly*. The new code is way too up to interpretation and those loopholes are the cause of the harm placed on women’s and LGBT rights.
For example, although the women of Puerto Rico have the right to control their pregnancy, they declare the unborn fetus to have rights as well. Much of the changes on the code directly contradict each other and therefore Puerto Rico is taking a step back in their civil rights.
I ask people to please reblog this version!!! There is more info here and people are getting confused that the code directly takes away rights, when really it just has loopholes and allows readers and people in power to interpret it in a way that helps their political ideals. This has the potential to become worse, so please be informed!!!
As for people asking how they can help, the best thing that you can do is to reblog, retweet, and spread. Please just let us LGBT Puerto Ricans know that you are with us, you care for us, and you see us.
For people who want to go a little further, here is a donate link to an Puerto Rican LGBT+ organization dedicated to providing counseling, therapy, and help towards all orientations and gender identities. https://www.centrolgbttpr.org/donar/
If you want to help Puerto Rico as a whole, you should know that the many effects of Hurricane Maria are still affecting Puerto Rico’s people. This is an ongoing relief fund that has almost reached it’s goal. https://www.globalgiving.org/projects/hurricane-maria-caribbean-relief-fund/
I have yet to find any organizations that focus donating money to on #BlackLivesMatter in Puerto Rico. If you happen to find one on your own time, please notify me!
Side note: Please, before donating to any of these organizations, look into them first. I have read up on their sites and deem them trustworthy, but it’s important that YOU are informed to make your own decision.
Thank you all for spreading this. Black boys and girls, I see you. Puerto Rican boys and girls, I see you. LGBT+ fam, I see you.
ATTENTION EVERYONE!!! THERE IS A PETITION AGAINST THE NEW CIVIL CODE HERE!!!!
We already have around 120,000 votes, please reblog and sign!
This link has email templates in Spanish that you can send to the governer and other officials! https://www.change.org/p/wanda-v%C3%A1zquez-garced-no-al-nuevo-c%C3%B3digo-civil/u/26637354
halvoid
